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Writing 3 (Identifying,Analyzing,and Explain with Adequateand Inadequate Cohesion)


A paragraph is adequately developed when it describes, explains and supports the topic sentence. If the "promise" of the topic sentence is not fulfilled, or if the reader is left with questions after reading the paragraph, the paragraph has not been adequately developed. Generally speaking, a paragraph which consists of only two or three sentences is under-developed. A good rule of thumb to follow is to make sure that a paragraph contains at least four sentences which explain and elaborate on the topic sentence.
Here’s the items you should input in paragraph with adequate and inadequate cohesion :
Elaborate :
Spell out the details by defining, or by clarifying and adding relevant, pertinent information.

Illustrate:
Paint a verbal picture that helps make or clarify your point(s). Well illustrated pieces are easier to read and follow than those on a high level of abstraction.

Argue:
Give the reasons, justifications, and rationales for the position or view you have taken in the topic sentence. Draw inferences for the reader and explain the significance of assertions or claims being made.

Narrate:
Relate the historical development of the phenomenon at issue.

Process:
Describe how something works.

Describe:
Observe without preconceived categories.

Classify:
Organize phenomena or ideas into larger categories that share common characteristics.

Analyze:
Divide phenomena or ideas into elements.

Compare and Contrast:
Show similarities and differences between two or more phenomena or ideas.

Relate:
Show correlations and causes (beware of logical fallacies, however!)

NOTE : REREAD AND REVISE
The best way to improve cohesion is to thoroughly reread your paragraphs. Many times,
writers quickly put down all of their thoughts in a stream of consciousness. While everything that
they write makes sense at the time, it may seem like a garbled mess to a reader. Rereading your
work (or having a friend, professor or tutor read it) allows you to add any missing links, fill gaps in logic and create cohesion.
  
B.     WHAT IS COHESION ?

Cohesion is the intangible glue that holds paragraphs together. Having
good coherence in a writing project means that your ideas stick together and flow smoothly from
one sentence to the next, so that readers of your work can easily understand where you are taking
them. Without cohesion, a written work can seem choppy and may not flow well; a lack of
coherence challenges the reader and can hurt comprehension, thus rendering your attempt at
communication ineffective at best.
 Here are four main components of cohesion:
·         relevance
·         order
·         linking words
·         repetition of key words
1. RELEVANCE
                A simple way to build cohesion or flow between sentences is to look at the meaning of a
sentence and compare it to the point of the next sentence. They should be related yet not the
same. If the two sentences are not closely related, you will lose the readers attention, because
they will have to guess where you are going. If the two sentences are identical, you are not
adding any new information to your work, and the reader will be annoyed.
2. ORDER
 Writers should always ask themselves “Is this sentence relevant to the idea of this
paragraph?” Every paragraph should have a main idea (typically stated in a topic sentence). To maintain cohesion, all sentences within a paragraph should relate to this main idea.
 3. LINKING/TRANSITION WORDS
Transition words can help a paragraph flow more smoothly. The following two sentences are far apart, in fact, opposites in content and unconnected in time.
 4. REPETITION OF KEY WORDS
                Repeating key terms related to the main idea of the paragraph makes an invisible rope for readers
to follow – a few hand holds. However, do not repeat words for the sake of repetition; the reader
needs to occasionally be reminded of your focus, not beaten over the head with unnecessary
repetitions.

C. THE DIFFRENCES BETWEEN COHERENCE AND       COHESION

Coherence:
The property of unity in a written text that stems from the relationship between its underlying ideas, and from the logical organisation and development of these ideas.
Cohesion:
The property of flow and connection in a written text that stems from the linguistic links among its surface elements.
A paragraph has good cohesion when each sentence is clearly linked to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion mean that all of the parts are connected logically and linguistically to form a whole.
(a) Coherent Order:
Paragraphs may be organised according to a sequence of time (chronological order), space (describing something from top to bottom or foreground to background) or arranging information in order of importance. Another common way of ordering information in a paragraph is to present the most general information first and then move on to focus on the more detailed, specific information.
(b) Cohesive devices:
Individual sentences can have connections within them. A word that connects parts of a sentence is called a conjunction. The common coordinating conjunctions are: 'and', 'but', 'or', 'yet', 'nor'. There are also subordinating conjunctions. These establish the relationship between a dependent clause and the rest of the sentence. A few common examples are: 'as', 'because', 'whereas', 'in order that', 'since', 'although'.
The linking words such as 'however', 'moreover', 'nevertheless', 'consequently', 'as a result' are used to express complex relationships between ideas.
Here is a table of the more common linking words organised into broad categories of meaning. 
cause and effect
therefore, thus, consequently, hence, as a result of
addition
also, and, and then, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in fact, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second
comparison
also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
contrast and concession
and yet, at the same time, even so, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of this, instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, yet
emphasis
certainly, indeed, in fact
example orillustration
for example, in conclusion, in other words, in short, namely, specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus
summary
finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore
time sequence
eventually, finally, in the first place, in the past, last, moreover, next, second, simultaneously, so far, subsequently, then, thereafter, until now

D.    IDENTIFYING AND ANALYZING PARAGRAPH

I  AM DESY WAHYUNI

This is about me, let me tell you about my self. In this writing, I just want to shared all about me.It will       be good to know a little about each other.
1.    Well , My name is Desy Wahyuni and just call me Desy.I was born on December 08 1993 and now I am 20 years old.It is so young, but I still have one little brother.Next, I am studying in Muhammadiyah University of Metro.It is one of the biggest University in Indonesia. So, I enjoyed.I have an appointmennt that I will be “Everything” with this education, so I dedicated to my parents
(     ADEQUATE COHESION)
Explanation : This paragraph is adequate cohesion because there are sequences which related with next sentence, such as use well in the first sentence as opening the topic sentence, and then continued with related words (now,and so).

2.    Now, I live in 15 A Iring Mulyo , Metro-Timur and my home town is in the big city Seputih Banyak, Lampung Tengah(INADEQUATE COHESION)
Explanation : This paragraph is not inadequate cohesion, because there is no coherences between sentence before and after it and the two sentences are unidentical. The Transition words is not flow more smoothly. The following two sentences are far apart, in fact, opposites in content and unconnected in time.
3.    Physically, I have light brown skin, and my eyes colour are brown. My hair is not too long and my blood  type is B. I have height about 156 cm, and my weight around 42 kg.I ever over weight it is arround 54 kg, but I am not tall enough, so I likes big monster. I do not have confident at that time, but now my body is ideal. (COHESION)
Explanation : This sentence and paragraph is cohesion , because in this paragraph the main contain is clear and another common way of ordering information in a paragraph is to present the most general information first and then move on to focus on the more detailed, specific information.

4.    Now, let me tell you about my hobby, my hobby is chatting and laughing.I think it is not very boring because it is related with my self and  my life.Then, I always wasting my free time for sleeping, gathering with my friends, or check my account of social media. (COHESION)
Explanation : This paragraph is cohesion because there are sequence of conjunction and preposition in every next sentence, such as then,or,and.So the sentence are coherence each other.

5.    Finally, The main things is courage will not only show me the way, but will also lead me through the difficulties and unpredictability of life along my way up.My courage is not only the energy of my mind, but also my possibility maker.This is my life . (ADEQUATE COHESION
    Explanation : This paragraph is adequate cohesion, because the summary of all the text is    clear explanation in the end of the last paragraph and related with each other. A maintain cohesion, all sentences within a paragraph is also relate to the main idea.


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SECOND MEETING (DESCRIBING MY SELF) OKE :)

Name          : Desy Wahyuni
SRN            : 12340015
Subject                : Writing 2

A.  HOW TO WRITE PARAGRAPH WITH ADEQUATE AND INADEQUATE UNITY

Description is used in all forms of writing to create an impression of a person, place, object or event, describe a special place and explain why it is special, describe the most important person in your life.
Another method or strategy of linking sentences inside the paragraph is by the means of parallel structure. It is done by the repetition of sentences patterns, words or phrases within the paragraph.
·         In order for a writer or an author to achieve unity of sentences inside the paragraph, a writer or author should make sure that the sentences are connected with the topic sentence.
·         The next linking strategy to link sentences is achieved by using a transitional expressions that connect sentences in the paragraph. There’s a lot of transitional expression that could be used. There is a transitional expression that established addition, comparison,contrast,place,purpose,result,summary,time and more.
·         Transitional expressions that shows time include the words; meanwhile,at length,immediately and more.
·         Conclusion

B.  WHAT IS COHERENCE ??

Coherence is one of the characteristic in a good and clear paragraph construction. Unity in paragraph is established when the sentences inside are connected to the main idea or to the topic sentence. Another method or strategy of linking sentences inside the paragraph is by the means of parallel structure. It is done by the repetition of sentences patterns, words or phrases within the paragraph.




C. Paragraph Describing (My Self)

I  AM DESY WAHYUNI

This is about me, let me tell you about my self. In this writing, I just want to shared all about me.It will be good to know a little about each other.
Well , My name is Desy Wahyuni and just call me Desy.I was born on December 08 1993 and now I am 20 years old.It is so young, but I still have one little brother.Next, I am studying in Muhammadiyah University of Metro.It is one of the biggest University in Indonesia. So, I enjoyed.I have an appointmennt that I will be “Everything” with this education, so I dedicated to my parents.Now, I live in 15 A Iring Mulyo , Metro-Timur and my home town is in the big city Seputih Banyak, Lampung Tengah.
Physically, I have light brown skin, and my eyes colour are brown. My hair is not too long and my blood type is B. I have height about 156 cm, and my weight around 42 kg.I ever over weight it is arround 54 kg, but I am not tall enough, so I likes big monster. I do not have confident at that time, but noe my body is ideal.
Next, about my personality. I'm kind but extremely short-tempered. My friends have never seen me angry. So it's more like I keep my opinions in my head. I learned to control it and like to think I have become rather patient. It means that I am mostly humble.Sometime,I think a bit to much and take criticism well if it's constructive. My mood swings faster than you can think.Then, I'm very sweet but love cracking jokes and having a good laugh.
Now, let me tell you about my hobby, my hobby is chatting and laughing.I think it is not very boring because it is related with my self and  my life.Then, I always wasting my free time for sleeping, gathering with my friends, or check my account of social media.
Finally, The main things is courage will not only show me the way, but will also lead me through the difficulties and unpredictability of life along my way up.
My courage is not only the energy of my mind, but also my possibility maker.
This is my life J





D. Identifying Paragraph

I  AM DESY WAHYUNI
(TITLE)

This is about me, let me tell you about my self. In this writing, I just want to shared all about me.It will be good to know a little about each other.
Well , My name is Desy Wahyuni and just call me Desy.I was born on December 08 1993 and now I am 20 years old.It is so young, but I still have one little brother.Next, I am studying in Muhammadiyah University of Metro.It is one of the biggest University in Indonesia. So, I enjoyed.I have an appointmennt that I will be “Everything” with this education, so I dedicated to my parents.Now, I live in 15 A Iring Mulyo , Metro-Timur and my home town is in the big city Seputih Banyak, Lampung Tengah.
Physically, I have light brown skin, and my eyes colour are brown. My hair is not too long and my blood type is B. I have height about 156 cm, and my weight around 42 kg.I ever over weight it is arround 54 kg, but I am not tall enough, so I likes big monster. I do not have confident at that time, but noe my body is ideal.
Next, about my personality. I'm kind but extremely short-tempered. My friends have never seen me angry. So it's more like I keep my opinions in my head. I learned to control it and like to think I have become rather patient. It means that I am mostly humble.Sometime,I think a bit to much and take criticism well if it's constructive. My mood swings faster than you can think.Then, I'm very sweet but love cracking jokes and having a good laugh.
Now, let me tell you about my hobby, my hobby is chatting and laughing.I think it is not very boring because it is related with my self and  my life.Then, I always wasting my free time for sleeping, gathering with my friends, or check my account of social media.
Finally, The main things is courage will not only show me the way, but will also lead me through the difficulties and unpredictability of life along my way up.
My courage is not only the energy of my mind, but also my possibility maker.
This is my life J





NOTE         :
RED            : INTRODUCING
GREEN       : BODY (MAIN PARAGRAPH)
YELLOW    : CONCLUSION

*      The BOLD words in the paragraph, show that there are a coherence between sentence or alenia.
*      A sentence with white colours show that there are coherence and unity about all of content paragraph.










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Descriptive and Narrative Text

DESCRIPTIVE TEXT

A.  Definition
A paragraph that explains something from where the objects being described are located which is called spatial organization.
B.    Purpose
Description is used in all forms of writing to create a vivid impression of a person, place, object or event, describe a special place and explain why it is special, describe the most important person in your life.
C. Features
Description is a style of writing which can be useful for a variety of purposes:
·         to engage a reader's attention
·         to create character
·         to set a mood

D. Language
·         aims to show rather than tell the reader what something/someone is like
·         relies on precisely chosen vocabulary with carefully chosen adjectives and adverb.
·         is focused and concentrates only on the aspects that add something to the main purpose of the description.
·         sensory description - what is heard, seen, smelt, felt, tasted. Precise use of adjectives,similies,metaphor,or create images/pictures in the mind e.g. their noses were met with the acrid smell of rotting flesh.
·         strong development of the experience that "puts the reader there" focuses on key details, powerful verbs and precise nouns.








D.  Example and Analyzes of Text


RABBIT


1.    Using  three parameter of sense : We know that the rabbit pet rabbit was very funny, he has a smooth coat of white, and his ears are also two wonderful as it is characteristic that the rabbit.
2.    Description covering : plain white rabbits, but there are also brown and white. breed rabbits with lambing or childbirth. many people who love rabbits, because the rabbit is cute and funny, rabbits like to eat vegetables, especially carrots and kale.
3.    Using Linking verb of sense : Rabbits can make good pets for younger children when proper parental supervision is provided. As prey animals, rabbits are alert, timid creatures that startle fairly easily. They have fragile bones, especially in their backs, that require support on the belly and bottom when picked up. Older children and teenagers usually have the maturity required to care for a rabbit.
4.   Using Present Tense




NARRATIVE TEXT
A. Definition

Based on perception in time. Narration is the telling of a story; the succession of events is given in chronological order.

B.  Purpose
The basic purpose of narrative is to entertain, to gain and hold a readers' interest. However narratives can also be written to teach or inform, to change attitudes / social opinions the most important people or characters in the story.
·         Initiating event—an action or occurrence that establishes a problem and/or goal.
·         Conflict/goal—the focal point around which the whole story is organized.
·         Events—one or more attempts by the main character(s) to achieve the goal or solve the problem.
·         Resolution—the outcome of the attempts to achieve the goal
C.  Structure
 In a Traditional Narrative the focus of the text is on a series of actions:
Orientation: (Introduction) in which the characters, setting and time of the story are established.
Complication or problem: The complication usually involves the main character(s) Resolution: There needs to be a resolution of the complication. The complication may be resolved for better or worse/happily or unhappily. Sometimes there are a number of complications that have to be resolved.

D. Language forms

·         Using processes of verb
·         Using temporal conjunction
·         Using Simple Past Tense



E.  Example of Text and Analyzes

Rabbit and Bear

Orientation : Once upon a time, there lived as neighbours, a bear and a rabbit. The rabbit is a good shot. In contrary, the bear is always clumsy ad could not use the arrow to good advantage.

Complication : One day, the bear called over the rabbit and asked the rabbit to take his bow and arrows and came with bear to the other side of the hill. The rabbit feared to arouse the bear's anger so he could not refuse it. He consented and went with the bear and shot enough buffalo to satisfy the hungry family. Indeed he shot and killed so many that there was lots of meat left after the bear and his family had loaded themselves and packed all they could carry home.

The bear was very gluttonous and did not want the rabbit to get any of the meat. The rabbit could not even taste the blood from the butchering as the bear would throw earth on the blood and dry it up. The poor rabbit would have to go home hungry after his hard day's work.

Resolution :The bear was the father of five children. The youngest child was very kind to the rabbit. He was very hearty eater. The mother bear always gave him an extra large piece of meat but the youngest child did not eat it. He would take it outside with him and pretended to play ball with the meat. He kicked toward the rabbit's house and when he got close to the door he would give the meat with such a great kick. The meat would fly into the rabbit's house. In this way, the poor rabbit would get his meal unknown to the papa bear.


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Expository Paragraph

EXPOSITORY

A.    Definition Expository
A paragraph that explains or analyzes a topic is an expository paragraph ( Smalley and Ruetten. At al., p100). It includes: information,explanation,facts,and illustrations.Expository paragraph can be devided into several model of writings, such as process paragraph, and procedure paragraph.

B.    Generic Structure
Seen from the paragraph context it has to have three component of paragraph:
1.        Topic sentence
2.      Supporting sentence
3.       Concluding Sentence

C.    Language Forms
1.        Using process verbs : begin, start, continue,remain
2.      Using indefnite
3.       Using Question word mark, such as how and and
4.      Using Charts, graphics, and other visual aids.
5.      Using present tenses either verbal or nominal










D.   Example of paragraph

How “Cappucino Cincau” is Made

Capuccino cincau is the most popular drink with new inovation nowdays. Cappucino is made from certain material with the following process.First, prepare the tools and materials are needed such as cappucino , chocolatte powder , cincau, blender, stirer ,ice cube ,a nd cup. Second,put in cappucino , chocolatte powder , and ice cube into the blender.Third, blend the materials until all mix. Fourth, put cappucino batter into the cup.Fifth,add cincau and then cappucino cincau is ready to serve.

E.      Analyzes


How “Cappucino Cincau” is Made
(Title of the text)

1.        Topic Sentence : Capuccino cincau is the most popular drink with new inovation nowdays.Cappucino is made from certain material with the following process.
2.      Supporting Sentence: First, prepare the tools and materials are needed such as cappucino , chocolatte powder , cincau, blender, stirer ,ice cube ,a nd cup. Second,put in cappucino , chocolatte powder , and ice cube into the blender. Third, blend the materials until all mix. Fourth, put cappucino batter into the cup.Fifth,add cincau.
3.       Concluding Sentence : Finally,cappucino cincau is ready to serve.



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